ACK!

Blogger was giving me fits earlier. Hard to update my blog when it takes forver to load.

Anyway. I decided to stray from the typical "here is what I did today" thing. I decided to post a funny I received from my mom.

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Now I was fortunate enough not to have to discover any of these when my son was growing up. However I did learn that
1) When you thread a gold chain through the holes of an appliance plug then plug it in, it will be a shocking experience.
2) An inquisitive mind and a screw driver do not a great combo make
3) Plastic bathroom items are a must
4) Buy stock in Lysol/Fabreeze/Air Freshener Company
5) Snakes and spiders will turn up in most bizarre places.
6) If the hamster wheel DOESN'T squeak, worry
7) Earthworms don't make great pets
8) Verify it IS an earthworm before attempting to pick up
9) Geese may look cute, but are pit bulls in feathers
10) Siblings and beads should never be left alone together
11) A large plastic pony bead will fit into a) nostrils b) ears and c) any other unwanted location an inquisitive mind might think of.

Hope you enjoy the list and may you never have to learn these things on your own!

Huggles!
Donica