Wishing

I was in Arkansas. I'm feeling homesick for those open fields, the quiet woods. Sitting in my spot off Highway 14, being lost in the sheer splendor of the quiet, wild world. Being alone with my thoughts, opening my mind and letting loose with all the feelings and anxieties that are causing me such blockage that I can't write.

For me there is something magical, healing about being down there. No Arkansas isn't a backward, hillbilly state, no matter how much fun outsiders may poke at Arkansasians. This is a land of bubbling cities, but this is also the land of opportunity. The opportunity to get lost and commune with the wild world that God created. To be allowed a chance to see the wildlife that is missed out on in bigger cities. It's healing to me because I have issues with being in overly populated areas. I feel smothered, I feel smashed and I feel agitated, like I can't breath. Going to Big Flat helps me relax. It makes me feel so soothed, rejuvinated. It's a feeling of safety, security, and total relaxation. I can think, I can breath and I can write! All the cares, the worries that have filled my mind fade away and I can focus on one thing: creating a new world where people can fall in love, get spell bound, solve mysteries, or cheat death and end up with the Happily Ever clutched tightly as they hold each other.

But as with all good there is some evil. It's showing its nasty head and I long to be able to stomp it out; crush it under my heel. Greed, self serving egomaniacs, are set to detroy the lives of those I love and respect. Some even have good intentions to apoint but won't be satisfied until they drive everyone away.

Big flat was never a large town, but it was alive! There was a school, there was a blending of ages. Old men sat at the domino shed while young children ran and played in the park. Several years ago, in its *cough* infinite wisdom, the government shut down the school. The town has slowly died over the years thanks to this decision. Families who wanted to make this quiet, lovely town their home couldn't. The nearest school is over an hours bus ride away. Anyone familiar with this area knows that even in the sunny weather the drive can be treacherous. Hills, steep curves, all are hard enough to manage but with a bus load of kids, in winter weather?

So the community has begun to fade away. It's heartbreaking to see lives destroyed, family heritage killed, all because someone was looking to plump their governmental pockets.

It's not bad enough, now it seems a drive to push people from thier homes, land that has been in thier family for genrations is brewing. I'm all for wild life preservation, with all my heart. BUT when does the preservation of a tree, a bird, a river otter, take the right of people to live in a place that has been home for more than two generations?

My grandfather owned some beautiful land near the buffalo river when I was a kid. It was paradise. We drove down and camped along the river banks. I had some of the greatest experiences of my life there. At night the wolves would serenade us from their den up on the cliff. I even saw my first cougar there. It came to the river for a drink, sniffed around our tent, then went on his way.

Now we can't even think of taking a vehicle down there. Grandpa doesn't own it anymore. The protection of the wildlife. River otters have been released on local farmers property! They have been released and allowed to destroy the farmers property but the land owners can't do anything about it! You can't shoot the pests, their protected. You can't trap and remove them you just have to bend over and smile. They have land stolen/swindled from owners and made into preserves, let the animals loose there!

There was town called Marshall, a lovely town. Auction barn, banks, shirt factory store, etc. I haven't been there in ages, so this is only retelling second hand information: There is some dispute about water rights or something along those lines. The tree huggers are determined to see this town drowned out of life as well. I can't scream or complain about this because as I said I dont have all the information at this point.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a tangent. I don't know why I suddenly got diahrea of the fingers, but I did. Hope I didn't drive you all crazy with this. I just know I've been ccrazy about alot of it for ages and it feels great to let it loose.

See you all tomorrow!
Huggles,
Donica